


Something borrowed

by orphan_account



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, CEO! Lexa, Doctor! Clarke, F/F, Friends With Benefits, Hopeful Ending, Idiots in Love, Lexa drinks her feelings, Miscommunication, Mutual Pining, Pining, and so she should, but not really because they can't talk about their feelings, but they do, minor Clarke Griffin/Josephine Lightbourne
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-11
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-18 11:55:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29982495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Lexa's fine with her and Clarke's arrangement. Just sex, nothing more, nothing less.When Clarke starts getting serious with someone else though, Lexa finds that she's not alright, and now she can either face her feelings head on, or take drastic measures to distract herself.
Relationships: Clarke Griffin/Lexa
Comments: 19
Kudos: 189
Collections: The t100 Writers for BLM Initiative





	Something borrowed

Lexa gets the text on a Tuesday night, it’s unsurprising with Clarke’s hectic work schedule. She imagines Clarke’s just got out of work, she always gets  _ these  _ texts after she’s had a bad day. Not that she’s complaining, simply noting a pattern. 

It’ll be quicker for her to get to Clarke’s apartment than it will for Clarke to get to her, so she shrugs on her jacket and calls an Uber, letting herself into Clarke’s apartment before she’s even home. That’s the beauty of their arrangement, it doesn’t matter what time either of them call, the other was there. 

Anya calls it a booty call, but Lexa doesn’t think that’s entirely right. It’s not just sex—well, it kind of is, but that’s not all the relationship is. They were friends long before they started sleeping together, this is just an added benefit to their friendship. 

Lexa tries not to think about the times she’s thought about being more than friends with Clarke, it’s just a crush. People have crushes on their friends occasionally, she’ll get it over it. 

Lexa’s flicking through the TV channels in her underwear when Clarke finally gets back. She  _ could _ have put something interesting on the TV, but then, what would be the point in that? It’s not like they’re going to be watching it. 

Clarke laughs when she sees her, draped over the couch waiting for her. “If I knew you were already here I’d have been quicker.”

“Yeah but that would have ruined the surprise,” Lexa grins, sitting up and leaning to where Clarke’s standing at the back of the couch. She pulls Clarke in by her scrubs top for a kiss, slow to start, but both of them know where it’s heading. 

“Shower,” Clarke grins into the kiss, “unless of course you don’t want to join me.”

“Please,” Lexa scoffs, “if I ever say no you can assume I’m dying.”

“Noted,” Clarke pulls off her scrub top on the way to the shower. This is the part of the arrangement Lexa doesn’t like, that they can do this, casually, but she can’t tell Clarke that actually, she is stupidly in love with her. Because that’s not what this is. They both agreed that they don’t do relationships, they don’t do feelings. They’ve both been hurt before, and that’s the point of this, that they don’t have to get feelings involved.

So why does Lexa get butterflies everytime she sees Clarke smile?

She takes a moment after Clarke’s already stepped in the shower. She needs a second to just remind herself what she’s doing. She should call this off, she’s going to get hurt. But that’s something she can’t bring herself to do. 

She’s fine. She knows what she’s doing, why deprive herself of good sex when it’s just a crush.

She’ll get over it. 

She steps into the shower with Clarke, who grins when she sees her. 

“Finally, I was beginning to think you’d got lost.”

Lexa really has to stop herself from saying something ridiculous like  _ yeah, lost in your eyes _ . Maybe she’s more screwed than she first thought. She picks up the shampoo and murmurs “turn around,” if she has to look at Clarke naked any longer, she might just do something stupid, like tell her how beautiful she looks.

*

When they’ve finished in the shower, and the bedroom, and once more on the couch for good measure, they order pizza and put a movie on netflix, Clarkes legs draped over her lap.

“So what's new?” Clarke asks, only half concentrating on the movie. She’s chewing on her nails though, a nervous habit. There’s something going on, but Lexa won’t push, she knows Clarke well enough to know that she’ll bring it up in her own time.

“Not much,” Lexa shrugs, “still going after that promotion, I swear if a man gets it over me just because I’m a woman, I’m throwing hands.”

“So you should,” Clarke smiles, “fuck the patriachy.”

“Fuck the patriachy,” Lexa agrees, but still, something seems off with Clarke. “What about you, anything new with you?”

Clarke shrugs, but there’s something distant about her. “Oh you know, same old. My mothers constantly on at me about life. What I’m doing, where I’m going, it’s really starting to piss me off.”

“Still? Is it not enough that you went into medicine just to please her?”

“You know it’s not,” Clarke scoffs, “It never is. There was something else I wanted to tell you about actually—”

The buzzer to her apartment rings then, cutting Clarke off. She bites her lip, obviously wanting to finish what she was saying, but stands to buzz the delivery driver up.

She doesn’t bring it up again, and Lexa still doesn’t push, even if it is eating away at her. They watch the movie in relative silence, it’s comfortable though, everything is with Clarke. They’ve been friends for so long that they don’t need to fill the silences, and that’s what she loves about being with Clarke.

“I got asked out today,” Clarke suddenly blurts out, and Lexa’s little fantasy is suddenly crumbling around her. “By Josie—Josephine Lightbourne, you know, her dad owns most of Sanctum.”

She does know Josephine Lightbourne, it’s hard not to know her. Her father is big in the next town over, like Clarke’s mothers big in Arkadia. Josephine’s not who Lexa imagines Clarke would go for. She’s a hurricane, always loud and full of life, always at the centre of everything that’s going on. 

That’s not Clarke, who’s reserved and serious until you get to know her, then she’s warm and kind and bright. 

“What did you say?” She tries to stop any emotion from creeping into her tone, keeping herself neutral. If she doesn’t, she might do something really stupid, like cry. 

“I said yes,” Clarke shrugs as if it’s no big deal. It is a big deal though, even though Lexa swore she wouldn’t get feelings it’s a big deal now. “We’re always together at events and stuff, I know I like her, even if she is a little—”

“Crazy?”

“Yeah,” Clarke snorts, “but she’s not like that all the time, she’s a lot of fun actually.” Finally, Clarke looks over to Lexa, her brows knit together. She almost looks concerned by what Lexa thinks. For a fleeting, foolish moment she thinks Clarke may want her to talk her out of this. 

But Lexa’s not going to do that, because if she’s wrong, she’s thrown years of friendship out the window, over what? A short lived love confession? She’s not going to do that.

“Well, have fun,” Lexa tells her as blasè as she can, because if she doesn’t act like she doesn’t care, then Clarke will see that she cares too much.

“You’re okay with this?” Clarke questions, raising an eyebrow at her. 

“Yeah,” she shrugs, “why wouldn’t I be?”

Clarke chews on her nails again, “I don’t know, I know what we’ve going on here isn’t exactly—”

“Serious?”

“—Conventional. I just didn’t want to mess anything up.”

“There’s nothing to mess up,” Lexa assures her, “it’s just sex, right?”

“Right,” Clarke agrees, and Lexa’s heart breaks a little. Love is stupid, it’s weak and unnecessary. Lexa’s been hurt enough times that she should know better than to fall all over again, but somehow she’s done it, for someone she knew wouldn’t be interested in her in the first place.

“I need to go,” Lexa stands suddenly, gathering her stuff. “I’ll see you soon, yeah?”

“Oh,” Clarke frowns, “sure, yeah. I’ll text you tomorrow?”

Lexa doesn’t answer, she just slams the door shut behind her and lets the cool night air wash over her. It’s ridiculous, she’s ridiculous. She knows better than this, but she’ll be fine, she’s gotten over worse—much, much worse.

She finds herself at Anya’s, she’s always good for strong alcohol and a rant.

“I’m an idiot,” she informs Anya, falling face first onto the couch.

“Okay, is this a vodka or tequila kind of idiocy?”

“Just, mix them together and forget about the mixer.”

“Oh crap, it is bad.”

Lexa manages to drag her face from the couch seat, “I’m an idiot.”

Anya passes her a shot glass, it burns on the way down, but fills her with a satisfying buzz. This is what she needs, to get drunk and forget about Clake.

“I’m in love with Clarke.”

She doesn’t even look at Anya’s face. She knows the look she’s giving her, she’s given it to her a hundred times before and she’ll probably continue giving it until she dies. She knows how completely and utterly unimpressed she is by Lexa’s confession. 

“Of course you are,” Anya passes her another shot glass. It burns as much as the first, but the buzz is twice as good. “Anyone with eyes can see that.”

“Fuck.”

“Yeah,” Anya agrees, almost sympathetically. “So what’s the problem?”

“The problem is we’ve been sleeping together for the last six months.”

“Yeah—again, anyone with eyes can see that. And anyone with eyes can see that Clarke feels the same about you.”

“She doesn’t,” Lexa sighs, turning to face the ceiling. Whatever was in them shots is working, because Anya’s ceiling is spinning nicely, and they’re only 2 drinks in. “She’s going on a date with Josephine.”

“Lightbourne?”

“The one and only,”

“Okay,” Anya starts with a frown, “do you really think Josephine’s got a thing on you?”

Does she think Josephines got a thing on her? Maybe. Both she and Clarke are rich and beautiful, they go to the same events, they both probably sit in the corner drinking champagne and bitching about their families. They’ve probably got more in common with each other than she does with Clarke. 

“Well she’s going on a date with Josephine instead of me,” Lexa grumbles in response, it’s the only thing she can think of saying without spilling her guts. Anymore alcohol and she may not be so reserved. “Any more shots going?”

Anya rolls her eyes but passes her another shot non the less. “She’s going out with Josephine because Josephine asked her out, what do you do other than respond to her booty calls?”

“Send her booty calls.”

“Lexa—”

“I’m joking, obviously. But we’re friends, she gets me, and I get her, I think anyway. Apparently not like  _ Josephine  _ does.”

“You avoided the question—but I can give you some insight, Josephine actually asked her out. You didn’t, you just sat back and waited for her to call you or whatever you two do. So of course she’s going to go out with someone who actually confesses their feelings.”

Lexa rolls to fill another shot glass up with vodka—or tequila she can’t quite tell the difference. It doesn’t matter anyway, they’re both going to get her drunk. That’s the aim here, to get drunk enough to get her feelings out, then move on.

She’s better than this, she’s strong and capable, she’s on track to become the youngest female CEO of her company and she’s done it with no help from no one. So why is she crying over her best friend going on a date?

“I’ll get over it,” Lexa mutters, taking another shot. It doesn’t numb her like she wants it to, but still she can spend the night purging her feelings, and in the morning she can hold her head high and be over Clarke Griffin. 

*

She  _ cannot _ hold her head high the next morning. 

Infact, she can barely even open her eyes. She can’t remember much after the seventh or eighth shot, but that’s probably for the best. She can’t imagine she spent much time saying anything she wants to remember.

“What time is it?” She groans, Anya’s got to be around here somewhere.

Something slams on a table in front of her, and the sound ricochets around her head. Today is not going to be a good day. 

“It’s seven am,” Anya replies, Lexa manages to crack an eyelid open enough to see the pills and the glass of water on the coffee table. Which means she slept on the sofa all night. She doesn’t even want to think about the backache she was going to have.

When did she get so old that sleeping on a sofa caused her backache?

“Ahh fuck.”

“Agreed. How do you feel?”

“Like i’ve been hit by a dumper truck.”

Anya snorts, Lexa doesn’t think she wants to be friends with her anymore. “Well, drink some water and have some aspirin. You’ll feel better.”

Maybe she’s not  _ that _ bad of a friend, actually. “How bad was it?”

“I’ve never seen you cry over a crush before,” Lexa hates the sympathy in Anya’s voice. Not as much as she hates crying over her best friend though.

That’s going to change though, she’s going to be that person. She spent a night getting drunk in her feelings, now she’s moving on. She’ll go home, get dressed for work and keep going like she always does.

“Yeah well, you’re not about to see it again. I’m over it.”

Anya gives her a skeptical look, but shrugs nonetheless. “Good, i’m glad to hear it.”

*

Lexa does her best to forget about Clarke. She works twice as hard at work, gets her promised promotion, and soon enough she’ll be ahead of her plans to work her way to the top. 

She might not need to work her way to the top though, she could  _ be _ the top. She’s good at finance, fantastic at it, infact. There’s a reason she gets the promotions and all the good clients, because she’s damn good at her job. 

So why is she working for other people when she could have people working for her? 

She goes home that night and barely sleeps. She researches everything she can about starting her own finance company. She looks up other peoples experiences, where they went wrong, and where they went right. 

It’s not going to happen overnight, but she’s got enough savings to tide her over for a bit, and she’s got a good enough reputation that she won’t need to poach clients, hopefully they’ll follow her, and they’ll tell their friends about her. And they’ll tell their friends, and so on until she’s got a big enough client base to keep her afloat—or better, to get her to thrive. 

It doesn’t happen instantly, she never thought it would. It’s slow going, sleepless nights of applications and research, but soon enough she’s confident enough in her plan that hands in her notice at work. Her boss looks at her with clear disappointment, she’s not his protegee anymore, she’s not his success story. 

She’s her own damn success story, through nothing but hard work and determination. 

The day comes when she’s got her own office, it’s not much, a rented room in a highrise building in the city, but that doesn’t matter. One day she’ll own the building, have a team around her and be the leader she knows she was born to be. 

It’s been a welcome distraction, because she hasn’t thought about Clarke in weeks, and she’s barely spoken to her, let alone anyone else. Starting up a business was hard work, but she’s done it by herself.

She next sees Clarke at her opening party. She already has four clients on the book, which isn’t bad going considering she opened today. She thought she was ready to see Clarke, she’s stronger than she’s ever been, she’s accomplished and successful, so why does seeing her with Josephine feel like a sucker punch?

“I’m so proud of you,” Clarke grins as she throws her arms around her neck. Lexa hesitates, only for a moment before hugging her back. Stupid crushes aside, she really has missed her best friend, well—all of her friends actually. This things completely taken over her life, but she knows it’s going to be worth it. 

“Thanks,” Lexa hugs back a little tighter before letting go and stepping back to look at Clarke. She looks both exactly the same and entirely different. She’s happy, is what Lexa realises makes her look so different. She’s beaming at Lexa so intensely she has to look away. Is it her that’s making her smile like that, or Josephine? “It’s been a ridiculous few weeks, sorry for dropping out there a bit.”

“Oh no it’s fine, I completely understand. I mean for a minute I thought it might have been about me and Josie but when you told me you were starting a  _ business _ I got it. I’m proud of you.”

Lexa’s mouth goes dry, was she so obvious that Clarke could tell she was avoiding her because of her feelings? Was that a call out? “No,” she laughs, hoping it doesn’t sound too nervous. “Of course not, I’ve just been ridiculously busy that’s all.”

“Well it’s paid off miss CEO, what’s next—taking over the world?”

“No,” Lexa snorts, “nothing like that, taxes are hard enough without having to do them for an entire planet.”

“Good point, that sounds stressful. Sorry, I forgot to introduce you to Josie, I don’t think you two have ever properly met before?”

_ This  _ is what she’s been dreading. Having to stand face to face with the person who has the only thing Lexa can’t have. Josephine smiles cat-like at her, shaking her hand with an iron grip. 

“Pleasure,” Josephine grins, her eyes narrowing at her. Lexa thinks it’s almost a challenge, or a taunt.  _ Look what I’ve got, everything you want. _

“Nice to meet you,” she reciprocates, completely insincerely. If Clarke notices, she doesn’t say anything. 

“Well, we’ll let you get back to your partying and networking or whatever you business women do these days, we’ll be at the bar,” Clarke squeezes Josephine’s hand, and she may as well have clutching at her heart. 

She’s better than this, Lexa reminds herself, she’s much more than a stupid crush.

*

She spends her days completely engulfed in work. She supposed it’s the bane of being a one woman business, at least for now. The dream is to expand, of course it is, but that comes in time. Now she’s networking, trying to bring the clients and the money in, building herself a good reputation.

She texts her friends back when she has a quick minute, but it’s not all that often. Of course she feels bad about it, but if she’s going to make it, her social life is going to have to be sacrificed, at least for now. 

Her friends understand, they tell her how happy they are for her and how well she’s doing. It won’t always be like this, she reminds herself. It won’t always be sacrifices and working from the moment the sun rises to past midnight every night. Someday she’ll have a normal sleeping pattern again, she’ll eat something other than jarred sauces and take out and someday, she’ll have a social life again. 

But until that day, it’s just work and nothing but that. 

There’s a knock on the door one day, which is strange because she has no appointments booked, and people generally don’t walk in, if they’ve got a query it’s usually on the phone or in an email. 

She’s even more surprised to see Clarke there, holding a bag of takeout with a grin. 

“Hey,” Clarke brushes past her into her office, sitting down on the white leather chair opposite Lexa’s desk. “I figured you could take a quick lunch break, I feel like we haven’t had a catch up in forever.”

“What did you bring?” Lexa asks, she can’t exactly to tell her to get out, that she’s avoiding her at all costs because she hasn’t gotten over this stupid little crush of hers. 

“I got the usual, from that little Korean place you like. We used to have lunch breaks there all the time, I miss that.”

“I’m sorry, I’ve just been swamped with work.”

“No I get it, don’t worry. I just thought if we can’t meet there, I’ll bring it to you,” Clarke unpacks the food on her desk, and if it was anyone else with anything else, Lexa would have to firmly tell them that they need to leave, that she’s much too busy for this. But it’s not anybody else, it’s  _ Clarke. _

“That’s really thoughtful, thanks.” Lexa smiles, sitting down and taking a box of Bibimbap.

“So how's it going with—” she waves her chopsticks around the office nonchalantly, “—everything?”

“It’s going well, thanks,” Lexa tries her hardest not to look too hard or too long at her, she’ll give it all away then and it’ll be over. She’s spent so long not having to think about her, and now she’s right here in front of her, and all her distractions seem to be for nothing. “I expected to make a loss in the first couple of months but you, I don’t think I am.”

“That’s amazing,” Clarke laughs, a little incredulously. “You’re setting the bar ridiculously high for starting a new business.”

Lexa swallows hard, she doesn’t tell her that she’s worked twice as hard so she won’t think of her, she doesn’t tell her that she did it because she was rejected without even putting herself in the game. She doesn’t tell her that this is because of her, and because it’s so unfair that her hearts breaking while Clarke’s flourishing. 

She doesn’t tell her any of that. Instead, she just nods graciously and eats her food. 

“Are you thinking of starting up your own medical practice? I can do your finances,” she jokes, but Clarke looks more serious than she’s seen her in a while.

“I was actually thinking of coming out of Medicine, or at least trying, anyway.”

Lexa blinks in surprise, she knows her heart has never really been in it. She knows Clarke loves helping people, and she’s amazing at it, but she went into it because her mother pushed for it, not because it was something Clarke desperately wants. 

“Oh? What would you do?”

“I don’t really know, maybe look into going back to school, I’ve been looking at art therapy or something like that.”

“Oh,” Lexa leans back in her chair, contemplating it. She’s never heard Clarke ever say anything about doing that, but she supposes she’s never asked about it, really. “What’s brought that on?”

“Just—Josie and I were talking one night, she pointed out that if I’m not doing something I absolutely love, what’s the point of doing it.”

“Well Josephine’s certainly insightful, isn’t she?”

Clarke glares at her, it’s a look she’s not used to. She hasn’t seen her look like that in a long time, so Lexa must have touched a nerve. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Clarke snaps, and internally Lexa winces. She keeps a straight face though, she’s good at that, keeping her poker face. 

“Nothing, it’s just you’ve never spoken to me about this stuff, and we’ve been friends for years.”

“You never asked about it, Josie did. Besides, you’ve literally never brought up starting your own business and suddenly you’re full steam ahead with it. You didn’t even tell me, you told Anya first and she told me, I had to hear it through the grapevine.”

“Well I didn’t want to disturb the honeymoon phase.”

Clarke’s jaw drops momentarily in shock. Lexa doesn’t have a clue what the hell possessed her to say that. She’ll call it a moment of madness and get over herself. It’s not Clarke’s fault that she’s in her feelings too much. She thought she’d been hurt too much to get wound up like this again, but Clarke changed that. 

“What the hell is wrong with you? Ever since I told you about Josie you’ve been off with me, what’s she ever done to you?”

Technically, Josephine’s never done anything to her, It’s Lexa who has the problem. She’s never been one to outrightly talk about feelings, and that’s put her at a major disadvantage. It’s been fine up until now. 

“Nothing, she’s never done anything. I shouldn’t have said anything.”

Clarke narrows her eyes, “you’re lying.”

“No, I’m not. It was stupid, I shouldn’t have said anything, I’m just tired.”

Clarke’s not convinced though, she knows her much too well to believe she said it because she’s tired. 

“Tell me.”

“Clarke it was ridiculous, just drop it, please.”

“No, tell me.”

“Fine,” Lexa snaps, and she knows this isn’t going to end well. “I hate seeing you and her together. What the hell does she have that I don’t? What makes her so special?”

Clarke blinks, dumbfounded by Lexa’s confession, That was tame though, there’s a million other things she could have said, a million much worse things could have come out then, she’s proud of herself for keeping the majority of it inwards. 

“What the hell are you talking about?” Clarke demands, still completely dumbfounded. 

“You heard me, what does she have that I don’t?”

“Nothing,” Clarke shakes her head in confusion. “But—she asked me out, I didn’t think you liked me like that. I asked you before I went out with her if you were alright with it and you said you were.” 

“Well I lied. I’m not alright with it.”

“I—” Clarke stops, staring at Lexa with so much hurt and confusion. She should have just kept her mouth shut. 

“I’m not alright with it,” Lexa says again, with more conviction now. “I like you, I think I like you a lot more than just a friend and seeing you with Josephine hurts. I wish it didn’t, I wish I could change how I feel but I can’t, and I can’t keep it in any longer.”

She can’t quite decipher the look on Clarke’s face, but she thinks she’s probably ruined their friendship now.

“You should go,” Lexa tells her quietly, no longer able to face her. She should have just said something at the beginning, she would have saved herself so much heartache if she’d have just bit the bullet and confessed her feelings.

“Yeah, I should,” Clarke storms out the room, and Lexa thinks she’s done something irreparable this time. 

*

She decides to drown her feelings in wine that night. It’s an awful idea, really—she’s got work tomorrow and going into the office with a hangover sounds like hell, but so is sitting in her feelings sober. 

It’s been a hell of a day, and she just wishes she could forget about it. She knows she won’t, but time heals all wounds, and she can remember that. 

It’s worse that she has to see Clarkes and Josephines all over facebook and instagram Josiephine seems to be one of those people who documents her life through pictures, and since Clarke’s tagged in all those pictures it’s constantly on her timeline.

She’s contemplating deleting all socials when the banging on her door starts close to midnight. It’s usually the time when she’s just finishing up her work and thinking about going to bed, not tonight though. Tonight she can’t stop thinking about the fact that she’s not only ruined her chances with Clarke, but she’s lost her best friend, too. 

She debates not opening the door, but thinks better of it. It could be someone in trouble, it could be one her friends, it could be anyone. 

She doesn’t expect it to be Clarke, rain soaked with mascara running down her face and the angriest expression she’s ever seen on her—save for maybe earlier when she was storming out of the office. 

“Clarke? What are you—”

“That was a really shitty thing to pull me on me,” Clarke storms past her into the apartment, Lexa closes the door softly behind her, completely unprepared for an argument with her. 

“I’m sorry.”

“No,” Clarke laughs, half manic. “You don’t get to do this. I spent months trying to get a feel of whether you were ready to start dating again, and everytime i broached the subject you said you weren’t, that you were never going to love again and all that bullshit. I moved on, I’m happy—I was happy, I went on dates, I found someone and you just come out and suddenly say that you like me and what? What am I supposed to do with that information now?”

Lexa sighs, she doesn’t know what Clarkes supposed to do with the information, she shouldn’t have said anything. It was selfish and impulsive, Clarke’s right, she’d been saying since her breakup with Costia that she was never going to love again. It was a lie, but she’d said it anyway.

Now her feelings for Clarke feels like she’s holding onto something borrowed. She’s pushed her away into the arms of someone else. 

“Do you know how long I’ve been in love with you?” Clarke demands, a tear slipping down her cheek. “Do you know how hard it was listening to you saying you never wanted to date again. Everyone told me I was stupid when we started sleeping together, they said I was only hurting myself, and they were right.”

“Clarke,” Lexa breathes shakily, if she’d had even the slightest inclination that Clarke had feelings for her, she’d have gone in full force, but instead she’s ruined it for herself. “I didn’t know. I never thought you’d ever go for someone like me.”

Clarke laughs bitterly and shakes her head. “Well you were wrong.”

“I see that now.”

“Yeah. Well Josie broke up with me. She said she doesn’t want to be with me while I’m so hung up on somebody else.”

“I’m sorry, I know you liked her,” Lexa bites her lip, she can’t help the flutter in the stomach that overpowers the pang of sympathy. 

“She’s right, my heart wasn’t fully in it. I wanted it to be but—yeah.”

There’s a loaded silence, Clarke drops to the sofa, still soaking wet from the rain outside, she must have walked here. Lexa sits gingerly next to her, wondering where the hell they go from here. 

“So, what now?” Lexa asks quietly, unsure if Clarke even wants her anymore after everything. 

“Now, I need a shower, and we need to talk. Properly talk, not half conversations and dropping hints—because I want this. I want us.”

Before Lexa can respond, Clarke leans forward and captures her lips with her own, and Lexa’s entire body turns electric. Clarke’s hair’s dripping over them both and her clothes are soaking, but it doesn’t stop Lexa from pulling her in. 

They’ll talk later, and they’ll put the world to rights again, but for now, all that matters is Clarke’s lips on hers, and she knows they’ll be alright. 

**Author's Note:**

> This work was written for t100fic4blm. I'm taking requests for prompts along with lots of other amazing writer and content creators! For more information, [Check out the carrd here!](https://t100fic-for-blm.carrd.co)
> 
> A donation was made to NAACP Legal Defence Fund for this work. LDF is America’s premier legal organization fighting for racial justice. Through litigation, advocacy, and public education, LDF seeks structural changes to expand democracy, eliminate disparities, and achieve racial justice in a society that fulfills the promise of equality for all Americans. You can find out more about them [here.](https://naacpldf.org/about-us/)  
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